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One of the Autism doesn’t come with a manual it comes with a mom who never gives up shirt besides I will buy this hardest and most frustrating parts about becoming a parent is this issue. Everyone thinks they are an expert, even people without kids. Between your own parents, friends, acquaintances and even strangers, it is impossible to escape. I learned very quickly to ignore everyone—unless it was my doctor or therapist or an actual “expert”—and did my best to trust my gut. I am not someone who is easily persuaded or doubts myself, so I suppose it was easier for me to not get swept up in the unsolicited advice storm. In the beginning when they were newborns it was always about breastfeeding (which I did, by the way, for about 4 months with each and hated) and sleep routines. It was a struggle, but I ultimately just did what worked best for me, what I thought worked best for my overall health, and what worked for me and my husband as a team. Thankfully I did this because this habit of listening to my intuition and putting myself first (gasp!) has worked out well as my daughters have grown up. Everyone is different and so is every family; the dynamics of all families is unique and can be complicated. I knew that my husband and I knew our children and family environment best and I have always acted accordingly. Now that they are teenagers, the advice has slowed, and frankly, my ears aren’t even open to it. My attitude is that my family and the decisions my husband and I make for them is our business. I am here for a dialogue, but not a lecture!
I have discovered my real power. Not in terms of being able to achieve or earn things, but the Autism doesn’t come with a manual it comes with a mom who never gives up shirt besides I will buy this power I had to strip away all the bullshit I had worried about my whole life and get low and deep, to get vulnerable and humble and accept the enormous gift of love I was given. As I have reflected over the years about this journey, I have been surprised by my ability to face and deal with lifelong struggles like anxiety, fear of failure, isolation, and my inability or unwillingness to truly receive love and feel worthy of it. Giving birth to my daughters was a rebirth for me; it fundamentally changed by heart and my ability to love myself. All of this opens up your world in unexpected, positive ways.
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